Mother’s Day. Surrounded by boxes and messes at home, struggling to process all there is to do before our impending departure in three weeks, and guiltily turning down my son’s request for pancakes, I stole away to a quiet corner for 20 minutes. I haven’t let myself reflect on anything recently – my mother, my own motherhood, my departure from work (paid work, that is), our departure from friends and community, my fears – because it’s emotionally paralyzing at a time when I can’t be paralyzed. But I needed to allow myself a little reflection time to prepare for a service my mom and I were giving this morning, so I stole those 20 quiet minutes.
I wrote a few reflections about my mom – including her constant encouragement, her strong presence as a grandma, and her unwavering support and acceptance of my tendency to keep leaving the country for far off lands (okay, Canada’s not so far off this time, but all the others are).
As I wrote, it struck me that she is one of many women I’ve encountered in person, via books, or online who have been role models through their actions and words. I found myself thinking of women in the sailing community that I am becoming a part of. The environment of inclusivity and support is empowering; there is encouragement to learn a vast array of new skills, support when confidence or knowledge falters, guidance in gaining new knowledge and capabilities, and inspiration for pursuing a way of life that is outside the mainstream. I’ve had gentle and confidence-building instruction from Nancy Erley on Tethys, received offers of rides to grocery stores in remote places, seen a community rally around a female diesel mechanic to organize seminars for women, and been inspired by new sailors trying things for the first time, to name only a few. And this is only to speak of the sailing community. Perhaps further in the future I’ll reflect in more depth on the paths and tracks laid by mentors, friends, and role models in other areas.
We haven’t untied the docklines yet (three more weeks), but I already feel the pressure of all the new hats I’ll be wearing – sailor, teacher, radio-operator, navigator, blogger, vlogger, mechanic (maybe assistant mechanic at first). But pressure feels more like excitement and giddy anticipation when I think of the support and inspiration that is out there among women who sail – how we can encourage, teach, and – in essence – mother each other as we pursue a life on the water.
#NeverGiveUp #DreamersDoers
We look forward to look upon our great friends, leaders, and pioneers of our world. Your already a role model 😊👍🏼 I know you’ve Christopher and Sun-mi and including Michelle and myself and can imagine countless others around y’all.
Oh yes and next time Robert asks, “But why?????” We’ll just refer to you. “That’s why Son. Live. Breathe. Inspire.” Cue toddler… “But why???” 😳🤔🙃
Hahaha! Yes, there is always the “but why” question. We’re getting them, too. All. The. Time. Look forward to seeing you, Michelle, and Robert out there sometime! We still haven’t gotten our kids together and need to remedy that one of these years. 🙂
Sandi, you never cease to inspire me. Thanks for taking a minute to reflect and share the journey.
Thanks, Lynn. Yes, even this part of it has been a journey. As I’ve been slowly purging things, seeing old stuff and keepsakes, and making the decisions of what stays and what goes, I’ve been thinking about you and the long purging process that you went through to move and downsize. It must have felt so nice when it was done! One of the things I’m grateful for is the chance to go through things and purge very deliberately, which we haven’t had the opportunity (time) to do before.
I love your writing, Sandy and I hope you put your experience into a book eventually! I think of you often and can identify with your mixed emotions. I imagine it will feel better when your journey on land and sea has started. All the best to you and your family!! PS I love how supportive your parents are!
Hi Kathie – Yes, it has been life-saving to have my parents helping so much. My mom has taken the kids a ton and is helping me pack, and my dad has been spending 10 hour days with Tom helping with various projects on the boat. We are so grateful! And, yes, we are looking forward to the moment when we can get out on the water and just breathe for a few days and start the process of slowing down. 🙂
The sailing community is so supportive and encouraging. I’ve learned so much from other female sailors and liveaboards.
Exciting adventures ahead for you guys 🙂
Thanks, Ellen. Yes, it’s really wonderful how supportive and helpful everyone has been. And it’s not just reserved to women, either. As Tom’s been working on the boat, he has had a number of offers of help and support. Thanks to the link to your blog – I will check it out!